I still struggle

I am a veteran homeschooler of over 25 years.  I homeschooled my three children and now am homeschooling my grandson whom I am also raising.  Thus the title - Second Time Around.

I have been struggling with our homeschool experience.  It isn't the ADHD or Autism that my grandson exhibits.  It isn't even the tiny, tiny house that we live in.  It isn't trying to adjust to moving to a city when I've always been a country gal.  No, not any of this.

Waldorf calls it "rhythm".  I like that turn of phrase.  My home lacks rhythm.  It lacks the peaceful flowing from one day to the next.  It lacks character and style.  It lacks serenity.

In an effort to try to capture rhythm in this, my second time around, I find myself falling back into old patterns.  You know how it was back in the 90's.  Ah, what a mess we started.  The "perfect mom" era.  We did it all - raised our kids, homeschooled, were active in 4-H (or maybe Girl Scouts or lessons or sports), we cooked from scratch, made everything by hand, raised our own food, made bread, made cheese, pressed apples for cider and butchered our own home grown meat.  I look back on that portion of my life and wonder how did I ever do all of that!!  It wasn't practical.  It wasn't ethereal.  It wasn't even healthy.  At least not for me!

Oh, don't get me wrong. Some things "worked".  I loved having my kids grow up on the farm.  I loved living in the country and raising animals.  I even loved winter.  Well, two out of three isn't bad....

But now I realize I was always striving for that elusive "perfection".  Always striving to "do no harm" and to "do everything right".  What I didn't realize was that all of that was keeping me from life.  From being truly happy and content right where I was at.  It was keeping me from truly enjoying my children.  

In some ways I see many of the same struggles today, even among homeschoolers, but I think they are lessening.  I think the mindset that your life has to be perfect is fading and being replaced with a more realistic view of life.  

I see this change of attitude reflected in homeschooling.  I'm an eclectic homeschooler.  (It didn't have a name back in the 90's).  I've always been an eclectic homeschooler.  I think it's the one thing I've done right throughout the years.  Now there are other choices - Waldorf, Charlotte Mason just to mention a couple in which I see a change in the general goals of homeschooling. Although we still strive to find what's right for our family, that drive to perfection seems to be less.

So my question tonight is - how do I work rhythm into my homeschool and lifestyle?  I believe the Lord is leading me in this direction.  It will be interesting to see as it unfolds.